Gotta set the stage first: I used to work at a corporate office for a large company on the MS gulf coast. There were about 100 people in our building. All of the execs were down on one end of the building and the rest of us were in cubeville. I managed the cash flow for the company along with another analyst.

I was walking down to my colossal asshole boss's office with my coworker to get a signature so that we could transfer a bunch of money for an overnight investment account. The cutoff time was 2 PM and it was 1:55 so we had to get the signature right away. We walked out of cubeville, past the bathrooms, and down the hall towards his office.

Just as we got to his door he came flying out of there like he had just gotten caught rubbing one off. We stopped him and told him he needed to look over the documents, sign them, and then give us the code to make the transfer online with the bank. So he is standing there squirming around, doing a little dance if I may, and all the while trying to look over our work closely. It was a lot of damn money and a screw up would likely get one of us fired.

Then all of the sudden, he looks up, we hear a muffled sound that is what I would describe as a rabbit hiding under a pillow and being run over by a car. He groans a bit and then says the following: "Oh dear…I just shit all over myself." And then BOOOOM…I was hit right in the face with a massive shit glove. This joker had been eating something rather foul. It smelled like rotting baby seals covered in 25 gallons of elephant piss baking in 110 degree summer sun. I nearly threw up on him as he scurried by.

He made it past the bathroom and headed straight for his car. My coworker and I went back to cubeville without a signature and acting like two 180 lb eight year olds set free in a donut shop. It was a great day.

Then to top it off….he lived in Slidell, LA and had to drive 45 minutes all the way to the house with a pant leg full of SHIT! I was told to promise to never tell anyone at the office about it. Of course everyone knew within about 3 1/2 hours.